Ipsy Glam Bag August 2019 pt. 2 (not sponsored)

Head Covering

    As I shared with you before, I have began covering in prayer and prophecy as according to Paul's teachings in 1 Corinthians 11.  I love it!  Every day I choose to wear something over my hair (which is slowly growing back).  I choose to do this.  Nobody makes me do it.  Sometimes, okay a lot of times, I wear a covering all day because one never knows when one might find themselves in prayer.  So I cover according to Scripture.

    I love head covering so much more than I ever thought I would.  All my life I have had a secret desire to wear veils, not unlike Catholic Nuns do.  This goes in line with my also secret desire to actually be a Nun.  However, I am not Catholic, and Baptists don't necessarily have an equivalent.  Turns out, I really want is to be closer to God.  When I shaved my head, I suddenly felt "naked".  Don't get me wrong, I thought and still think the shaved head look was pretty awesome, and I was happy to be able to donate all of my hair.  But this feeling of being naked or uncovered really drove me into the scriptures and prayer.  Lots of prayer.  So I started covering, and the more that I covered the more I felt in line with God's Will.  So my love of covering has grown with that.

    Things have changed since I started covering, and for the better.  How I react/interact with my husband has changed:  I don't get mad so easily, I don't blow up quite like I had, and I have noticed a difference in my attitude when I am not wearing a covering vs. when I am.  I am more aware of how I should respond because I am wearing this symbol of authority on my head.  I feel more focused on God when I am praying.  I don't feel the fear and anxiety that I did before.  I KNOW that God is in control.  I mean, I've always known that, but now I feel like I really KNOW it.  Change is good, don't you think?

    Okay, so some of you might have gotten this far and are still thinking "She's oppressed!  She's being controlled by a man!  etc. etc."  No.  I'm not.  This was my choice, and my husband supports it.  In fact, his response was "It's your head, do what you want."  Well, my head allows me to show that I choose to be under authority, just like my wedding band shows that I choose to be married to my husband.  Here's the order of authority:  God - Jesus - Man - Woman.  It's a respect thing, not a control thing.  I know that I cannot explain it exactly right, so I am going to leave some book titles and websites for you to check out for a better understanding.  There are also youtube videos that are easily searchable.  

-Head Covering: A Forgotten Christian Practice For Modern Times by Jeremy Gardiner

-Glories Seen and Unseen by Warren Henderson

-Covered Glory by David Phillips

Head Covering Movement

Radical Christian Woman

    

The Journey of Hair continues, still.

    Here we are in September, barely.  The weather isn't quite reaching 100° F anymore, just 90+.  The leaves have been changing around here for a few weeks though.  Very slowly, but still noticeable. I suppose the dry hot summer had something to do with that.  All weather talk aside, let's get to the main topic as of late.  As I previously may have stated, I shaved my head, and subsequently started wearing hats and scarves.  I'm not sure if I was very clear on all that.  I know I mentioned 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, where Paul writes in regards to men and women praying and prophesying, head coverings, the order of men, women, Christ, and God, and submission. 
    Now, before you get all feminist on me, hear me out. When I say submission, I am not talking about being a mindless slave to my husband.  I am talking about loving and respecting him, as he should love and respect Christ. A few good reads that might help explain things better than I are "Head Covering" by Jane Worsley and Hazel Dixon, "Covered Glory" by David Philllips, and "Glories Seen & Unseen" by Warren Henderson.  These amazing authors give great detail into the study of 1 Corinthians 11, breaking it down verse by verse, giving word studies and cultural/historical background.  I am not going to rehash what they have already said in a much better way than I ever could. 
    Since initially shaving my head, I have felt called to veil, or cover.   Not only do I cover when at church, I cover most all day.   In part for modesty, and in part for simple obedience to God.  Currently, I wear bandanas and pre-tied head scarfs by ShariRose.   There are other styles that I like, and am eager to try a few more to see what works for me.  Last week I ordered the Signature Shaper from Wrapunzel, and have collected a few scarves to wear with it.  It should arrive in a couple days.  Let's hope I can master wrapping.  I'll try to post pictures soon.

The Journey of Hair, continued...

    It has been six weeks since my first shave.  I have since shaved four more times.  (Wow, this feels like I'm in confessional.) The third time, my husband was here to assist.  Since he really likes the style on me, it was nice to have his help in it.  That was Friday evening.  Here we are on Sunday, exactly six weeks since I first started this, and I decided to go all the way.  I took my razor to my head.  The hair I had was very short, like sandpaper.  OMG, shaving that was NOTHING like shaving my legs.  This was more like shaving a porcupine!  Wow!  Don't think I'll be doing that again.

    I continue to get good comments about my shaved head.  A few look at me like I have a second head growing on my shoulder (queue scene from "How To Get Ahead in Advertising"). I have had a few people, mostly from church, who asked if I was sick/going through chemo.  They were so relieved when I told them no.  I have found that even those who aren't too keen on the shaved head idea, soften when I tell them that I donated the hair to Children With Hair loss.
    Some people really like that hats that I sometimes wear.  :)  I have a couple cloche hats that I got from Amazon, this one, and this one.  In fact, I think I need/want to buy one in blue.  Next month, I am going with our church's youth group to a Baptist summer camp for 5 days.  I plan on taking a nice assortment of head scarves and various types of coverings.  Partly to protect my head from the sun, and partly for modesty.  Something I have noticed about wearing scarves and bandannas is the bristly scalp acts like velcro to them.
    I watched a video on youtube yesterday that really struck me.  In it, the young woman talked about why she shaved her head a second time.  She said that she had received comments from girls with alopecia or going through chemo, who said it really gave them the encouragement to face the day without feeling like their hair, or lack there of, defined them or was the only thing that made them beautiful.  So to every girl, every woman facing hair loss, here's to you.  You are beautiful with or without hair. 

Further realizations and questions about hair and faith

I have to say, some of the reasons I gave for shaving my head, are so true.  The amount of time I now take in getting ready has decreased drastically.  I haven't touched the shampoo or conditioner in a week and a half.  Sorry *Pantene.

However, there are some drawbacks and insights to this too.

1. My head gets cold very easily.
    A.  Solution: wear a hat or scarf on my head.
          1. Plus: variety is fun, and I have an excuse to increase my hat and scarf collection.
          2. Minus: after a while, it gets to be bothersome.
    B.  Babies' heads get cold.  Even if they aren't complaining about it, because they haven't figured     that part out, their little head is cold.  Cover it up.  I have always been bothered by seeing new             babies with no hat to keep their heads warm.  Now that I have no hair to protect my head, I                 really am bothered by the sight of a baby without a hat.  It's not summertime yet, y'all.
2. My head gets hot easily when it's warm outside and the sun is beating down.
    A.  Solution: Sunblock and/or light hat
    B.  Minus: I live in Texas, and the weather changes constantly.

Here's an odd one I bet you never thought about:  In searching for head covers to keep my head warm, protect it from the sun, and provide an amount of modesty to my head when needed (like in prayer), I have found that most coverings suitable for a woman with no hair, are marketed toward cancer patients.  Every one I have searched on Amazon has been labeled a "chemo cap".  Hmmm.

Final thought for today: in 1 Corinthians 11:2-15, the focus of men and women's hair and coverings seems to revolve around when praying and prophesying.  Nothing mentioned, that I see, about just normal every day life.  So that being said, why is it that so many of the conservative Christian women that wear head coverings, wear them all the time, not just in prayer and prophecy?  Is there an additional reason that is in the Bible or is this simply a tradition that they choose to do regardless of what the Bible says?  Curiosity here, not criticizing.

A Christian Woman's Journey of Hair

I have a bucket list.  I'm willing to bet you do too.  Learn a new language.  Visit a foreign country.  Take up a new hobby.  Get a degree in something I'll probably never utilize.  Do something out of my comfort zone.  Read all those books on my "100 books you should read before you die."  One of my bucket list items has been to shave my head.  

Now, I have been growing my hair out for the past two years or so, and it was getting to a nice length.  Not long, but just past my shoulders.  I had aspirations of having it down to my rump.  I stopped coloring it, preferring to let the gray show as it comes in.  But every time I got a head ache, I would wonder "would this hurt so much if I cut off my hair?"  I would think to myself that if someone I knew ever went through chemo or something, I would cut my hair in solidarity with them.  

Then one day, I had this powerful urge to cut it all off.  Donate it, and shave it.  It was either that, or dye it blue.  My hair stylist convinced me it would be a bad idea, and too high maintenance.  I talked about it with my husband.  I mentioned it to my mom.  Then, I called my friend, and asked her to come help me shave my head.  I ignored the voice in my head saying "Sarah, your hair is your covering.  It is your crowning glory.  Don't you think this might make God sad?"  

Sunday of last week, I shaved my head.  Okay, let's back up a little while I take you through the process:

This is how things were looking just before I cut it all off:

1. I started with clean combed hair.

 2. I sectioned the hair into five sections, tying each one off in tiny hair bands.

3.  I cut just between the scalp and the hair bands.  (The second set of bands half way down each pony tail was there for added measure.)  Now, I could have simply evened this out, and been done with it.  But.....I didn't.  Here's the hair, once it was cut off and bagged.  I know it doesn't look like much, but in that quart size bag is all of my hair.  

PSA:  This, with a bag of hair I had intended to donate on a previous occasion, was sent two days later to www.childrenwithhairloss.us where children experiencing hair loss, whether from cancer, alopecia, etc. can receive a wig designed for them, at no cost to the family.  

4.  I went over my head with the clippers, using the #8 or 1" guard.  Now, I could have stopped at this point.  But let's face it.  I'm all in.  And this is a bucket list item.  Might as well check it off now.  So I put on the #1 or 1/8" guard, and started shaving my head.    

Here is the final result.  Turns out, I have a great shaped head for this.  Wearing hats is more exciting. I have a few new ones now.

So, that was a week ago.  Here we are at Sunday again, and I have shaved my head again, because my hair likes to grow.  I tried to go blonde once, and after 4 days, my roots were showing, I decided blonde was too high maintenance.  Here I am with a shaved head, wondering is this something I will keep up with?  I don't know.  Because today, I started having an attack of the Christian conscience.

Now, before I get into that, let me side step a moment and say that I got so many compliments on the hat I wore.  It was a purple cloche hat that I found on Amazon.  FYI, the colors shown on Amazon, are not necessarily indicative of what you will actually get.  Just a general guideline.  Either way, it is a very pretty hat.

Okay, back to the attack of Christian conscience.  After church I started looking online at more hats and coverings that I might use.  See, as a Christian, I do follow the tenant that says a woman's head should be covered during prayer.  Since I don't have hair to cover my head at the moment, I need some...options.  Multiple options (wink, wink).  +++ I can hear some of you saying, "But Sarah, your hair isn't your covering.  A hat or scarf...is your covering.  You're reading the scripture all wrong!"  I am still working that part out.  Which brings me back to my point.  I was looking for hats, when I came across Radical Christian Woman which talks about whether Christian women should wear a head covering.  As I started to read this site, as well as The Head Covering Movement, I began to think about that little voice I had ignored the week before.  Have I dishonored God by shaving my head?  What were my reasons for shaving my head anyway?

 I had previously told myself anything that would make my actions acceptable and even logical.  Shaving my head would cut down on my shower time and getting ready time.  It would eliminate the need for hair care products completely.  It's a bucket list item, and it's less permanent than a tattoo.  It would make donating my hair so much easier.  Hindsight is an odd thing.  After I shaved my head, and after I had several people ask me why I did it, I realized the truth.  My answer, in all honesty, is control.  After losing my father this past December, my Grandmother last year, and almost losing my mother in January, plus every other thing that has been going on that I had no control over, I needed to feel a sense of power.  Of control.  I needed to know that there was one thing that was in my hands.  I know it seems silly.  Control over hair.  It sounds like such a small thing.  But did you look at those pictures?  That is NOT a small thing.  It's a huge thing.

Once I had that realization, came the question: Did I just dishonor God by taking control?  Did I just rebel or prove myself unfaithful?  Good questions.  That is the journey I find myself on now.  So stick around, as I seek to discover the answer to those questions and these: Who am I without my hair?  Does my hair or lack thereof define my relationship with The Father?  Was there truly any braveness or nobility in the act of shaving my head or just a spirit of rebellion?  I do not ask you to shave your head.  That is only and always a personal decision.  Just, pray for me that I will hear God's voice and understand His Word as I move forward.

Laugh when you should cry

Sometimes you laugh when it's not funny. Sometimes that's all you can do because if you don't, you can't help but be swallowed up by what is really going on.  Because what's really going on is so overwhelming at that moment, and if you don't laugh, you're liable to cry and you don't know if you will be able to stop.

  We are in the middle of a job change. Let me tell you something: it's scary.  I know that God has us. I know that we will be ok.  But change is scary, and sometimes fear and doubt creep in where they don't belong.  Tonight I am awake when I should be asleep.  My stomach is irritated. My mind racing.  Yet I know that this physical reaction to an emotional distress will prove to be fruitless. If not for the now lack of desire for that coveted ice cream. See? Already a light.