Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The beginning of the end

    It is mind-boggling how a person can devote 11 years of their life to the military and then see it all just go away like it was nothing.  The actions/decisions of one person have effectively destroyed Everette's career.  I wonder if this is what that person hoped to accomplish?  August 3, 2010 will be the last day my husband is in the Navy. 
    I am terrified.  This is a lifestyle we have grown to know and accept as ours.  What will we be left with?  Will the military move us one last time?  Will there be any assistance in finding a civillian job?  We are going to effectively be jobless, homeless, without any medical benefits, etc.  How is this supposed to ok?  I know my Mom keeps telling me things will be allright, but unless a miracle happens soon, I do not see how things will be allright.  There is no one we can stay with.  No one who has money to float us.  We do not have assets or savings or anything really. 
    I think the plan right now is to leave California.  This means leaving my brother, our friends, our church family, everything we have come to love here.  I know we are not the only ones who have gone through a change like this, but it is our first time as a family.  This so is not the plan I had for us.  Truly, I had things all figured out.  Everette would make the Navy a career, retiring at the 20 year mark, being in his mid 40s.  We would put away his retirement pay and both of us would work in the civillian sector. We could retire again, and live on two retirements, and social security.  It was going to be great.  We were going to go to Japan with the boys while they were still young, perhaps even Italy for a couple of years.  Amazing how drastically plans/dreams can change. This wouldn't be such a big deal if it were just Everette and I, but it is not.  We have three little boys to take care of.  How can we do that without a home and an income?
    I have this constant list of all the things that need to be done between now and July.  I am not even sure if we have that long, realistically.