Saturday, August 28, 2010

please share

Right now we are staying with my brother and his family, with the five of us in one bedroom.  All of my boys' toys are in storage, so my sons are feeling like outsiders here.  My brother's kids have toys but one his youngest has a bit of an issue with sharing.  I fight back tears of sorrow when I see my son being rejected by his cousin.  There is little I can do to change things for my sons right now.  I just pray that we can buy a decent house soon.
I have gone the past few weeks, essentially since we left California, without Zoloft.  I finally found the prescription yesterday and am not sure if I should go back on it or not.  We still need to......I just lost my train of thought.

Friday, August 27, 2010

The End Has Come

August 3, 2010 marked the last day of Navy life for us.  It has been a harsh reality these past few weeks.  Now in Texas with family, Everette has started a new job and we are looking for a place to call home.  There does not seem to be any apartments really available.  The homes here are mostly older homes that are in severe need of repair.  The idea of moving my family into one is painful and I am resisting it with every fiber of my being.  This week I found a house on 1.5 acres that I have fallen in love with and want to tour the inside.  I have been unusually excited about the idea of this house.  That being said, my sister-in-law told me this evening that there is another couple at her church looking at this same house and that it needs to sell quickly.  We still need to get approved for a VA loan.  Then Everette tells me today that he doesn't want to stay here.  So I feel "what's the point of looking for a house if we aren't going to make it permanent?"  I just want to settle down once and for all.  How odd, I grew up in the same house-19 years.  For the past 13 years we have moved so many times, I can scarcely count.  Now I just want o find that forever home.  The one.  The house of my dreams.  God, is there such a thing?  Is it possible that we might finally have that?  Can it be now? Please.